My last few sessions have been very unproductive. I start off slow, walking long distances without approaching and then I have to really push myself to overcome the inertia. From my numerous experiences of failed daygame sessions (0 approaches), I have come to understand the crux of failure and here I’m going to share with you some insights.
- The first 30 minutes are the most crucial – Before getting to your daygame location, you’ve taken the time to trim the beard, put nice clothes on and wear cologne. You’re looking your sharpest and the beautiful weather and surroundings puts a smile to your face. Yes, the thought of approaching a girl feels alien but you’re optimistic and enjoying the challenge. This is the best possible state you can be in without making an approach. However, this state is unsustainable without making approaches and is continuously dropping. After 30 minutes without an approach, doubt creeps in, after 60 you’re frustrated, after 90 daygame feels extremely weird, after 120 you’re physically and mentally exhausted.
- Early session weasels are subtle – A few examples are “I’m feeling really cold now, let my body get used to the temperature first”, “I just got here, let me get in my stride”, “She’s not that hot, let’s wait”, “let me pee first” (I sometimes start my session with a piss). It’s easy to legitimize these because they sound so reasonable but as mentioned above, your state keeps dropping while you delay that opening approach.
- It’s easy to forget why you’re out there – With the beautiful autumn conditions and the numerous distractions around, it’s easy to lose sight that you’ve come out to approach. The apathy brought on by this is just another force that’s pushing you away from approaching.
- Intent drops when there are long gaps – As your state keeps dropping, you become more and more cautious which results in weak approaches. The kind where you’re just hoping not to get blownout. This is bad for a number of reasons; it shows a lack of conviction, a lack of confidence and it’s very hard to lead from this position.
So how do we have better sessions? I’ve come up with a couple of ideas that I’ll be testing in the subsequent weeks. Here they are:
- One approach every 20 minutes – This will ensure that your state is at an optimum level. If you haven’t made an approach in 15 minutes, you “take your medicine” by approaching someone below your threshold.
- Walk with speed and purpose – This will keep you focused on the task at hand. I suspect it’s going to increase intent and also help in bouncing back from blowouts.
- Breaks after every 3 approaches – Given that you’ll be militant about the “20 minute” rule and also walking faster, you’re going to tire sooner than usual. You shouldn’t take more than an hour for 3 approaches so when you hit the mark, take a break if you need one.